The anxious wait for the 2016 matric results has started in thousands of homes across South Africa, where for many the holidays will be a little more stressful than usual, particularly where there is concern over a learner\u2019s performance.<\/p>\n
An education expert said it is very important that parents and caregivers prepare themselves so that when the results are released, they are equipped to assist and support disappointed learners in the best way possible.<\/p>
\u201cThe holidays will be a bittersweet one for families of those matrics who know that their results are not likely to meet expectations \u2013 either because the learner did not do that well, or because their performance may not be good enough to get access to studies toward a sought-after qualification,\u201d said Nola Payne, head of faculty: information and communication technology at The Independent Institute of Education.<\/p>\n
Payne warned that the way adults manage the way they respond when results are revealed can significantly impact on the resilience of matriculants following a disappointment.<\/p>
\u201cThis coming period will pave the way for the future response, and determine the nature of the conversations that can be held to plan the next steps.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis will significantly impact the way that the disappointment is experienced and managed,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
It is particularly important to remember that, although the adults may also feel deeply disappointed, they have to manage their own emotions and remember that their first words and reactions may leave a lasting impact.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe first thing to do is for the adults to take stock and consider their unified position so that the energy can be focused on the learner and not on resolving parental or family disputes,\u201d said Payne.<\/p>\n
\u201cTension will increase as the results release day approaches and may include higher levels of anger and aggression as part of a defensive mechanism against the expected parental responses.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow is the time to just reflect on what may be behind the behaviour with comments such as, \u2018You seem really stressed \u2013 do you want to talk?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Other symptoms of stress, such as depression or social withdrawal, or even health issues such as headaches, may increase, added Payne.<\/p>\n
\u201cResponsible adults are encouraged to ask direct questions such as when and where and how the young person will access their results.<\/p>\n
\u201cBuild your plans around those of the young person.<\/p>\n
\u201cShare your own feelings of anxiety and normalise it, for instance by saying: \u2018I am feeling stressed about your results too but remember we can figure this out together and take it from there.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cReaffirm your unconditional acceptance of the young person,\u201d Payne said.<\/p>\n
Importantly, parents and caregivers should begin to talk about other options in such a manner that the learner understands that \u201cbad\u201d results are not the end of the world.<\/p>\n
\u201cPrepare yourself with information of what the other options could be \u2013 this is a fine line to walk as it can be disheartening to feel that your family has given up on you, and the fact is that results may be better than the worst expectations so it is really all about balance.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf your child has not shared results with you for several hours after they have been released, then you need to ask.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne way or another the family cannot manage the situation if it is not out in the open.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf there is an angry reaction, then it is best to respond again with empathy and let the mood settle before asking again,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Payne said parents should take note of three practical steps to handle stress about results:<\/strong><\/p>\n On the day, prepare the learner:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n
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