Family gatherings, great getaways, no deadlines to meet and just kicking back and relaxing this festive season \u2026<\/p>\n
While some of us are counting down the days, others are dreading it.<\/p>
The holidays may be the happiest time of the year for some but for others, it is a time of sadness, loneliness and stress.<\/p>\n
Some people experience feelings of despair or pain so deep during this time that they resort to suicide.<\/p>
Others become so frustrated or angry that relationships end in divorce or separation.<\/p>\n
Many people do not understand why a person experiences unhappy thoughts or emotions during the festive season.<\/p>\n
Henning Jacobs, the trauma support co-ordinator at ER24, said there are a number of reasons why people go through intense negative emotions at this time of the year.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople with depression for example \u2018battle internally\u2019 and feel alone.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere may be a lot of festivities and they may be surrounded by happy people but it does not change the way they feel.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is about what they are going through internally.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople with depression usually hide their depression in their jobs.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople hide all sorts of problems in their jobs.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen they are on holiday there is nowhere to hide.<\/p>\n
\u201cTheir feelings cannot be \u2018worked\u2019 away.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey are forced to deal with their depression or problems and they often cannot handle it.<\/p>\n
\u201cDuring the festive season, some people with depression are also reminded that others are happy while they are not.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe festive season is a time to spend with loved ones.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is the worse time for those who have lost loved ones,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Jacobs said that financial problems also contribute to depression or stress.<\/p>\n
During the festive season many people spend vast amounts of cash on holidays and gifts for example.<\/p>\n
Those who cannot afford to are reminded of their financial problems preventing them from doing the same.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlanning is a wise option, however, many people cannot afford to save money for the festive season due to tight budgets.<\/p>\n
Then there are others who spend more than they can afford to, putting themselves in debt that they cannot afford to pay back.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome people might commit suicide during or just after the festive season due to depression, stress or financial problems.<\/p>\n
\u201cMost suicides involving men, in general, are a result of financial problems,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
While many women are more open about their feelings and problems, the majority of men according to Jacobs, hold back and choose to deal with their problems in silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cMen feel they need to be the strong ones.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness.<\/p>\n
\u201cI always explain to men that it is a sign of strength when they seek help.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf men do not get the help they need, they will become more aggressive and might lose everything they hold dear,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Jacobs urged people to support where possible, and be more understanding towards those who are depressed or stressed.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeople who are depressed for example cannot just change the way they feel.<\/p>\n
\u201cDepression is a serious illness.<\/p>\n
\u201cA person\u2019s mood, feelings, reactions and even sleeping or eating patterns can be affected.<\/p>\n
\u201cWithout treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months or years.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could have serious implications.<\/p>\n
\u201cLoneliness is one of the worst things to go through while being depressed.<\/p>\n
\u201cSupporting those who are depressed is vital.<\/p>\n
\u201cTry to find ways to help even those who push family and friends away.<\/p>\n
\u201cConvince those who have not had the help of a professional to seek assistance.<\/p>\n
\u201cAppropriate treatment and coping skills can help most people with depression,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Jacobs urged people to find ways to manage their stress as strong feelings of worry or anxiety can lead to a nervous breakdown.<\/p>\n
There are a number of things that can contribute to stress during the festive season.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome people start to reflect and think about their lives and that can cause a nervous breakdown.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor some people it is the busiest time of the year at their place of work.<\/p>\n
\u201cSome businesses, such as retail and restaurants, are extremely busy during this time.<\/p>\n
\u201cStaff members work the hardest and longest hours during this season and that can cause stress,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Family conflict is also common during the festive season.<\/p>\n
\u201cDuring the year people are so busy with their jobs for example that they often do not spend lots of time with the family.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen they do spend time together during the festive season, some become frustrated and often fight with each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis can lead to divorce or separation.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis can be avoided by families ensuring that they spend time with each other throughout the year.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf there is conflict, families should find an appropriate way to deal with it.<\/p>\n
\u201cInstead of saying the wrong things, take some time to cool off.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave a sit-down meeting where everyone gets their fair chance to talk about the problem and then list ways on how to solve the conflict,\u201d said Jacobs.<\/p>\n
He urged those in need of help to seek assistance from a counsellor or psychologist.<\/p>\n
ER24’s trauma counsellors can be reached by calling on 084 124.<\/p>\n