{"id":10389,"date":"2013-08-07T12:00:33","date_gmt":"2013-08-07T10:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/germistoncitynews.co.za\/10389\/struwwelpeter-senior-citizens-do-not-need-any-more-gadgets\/"},"modified":"2013-08-07T12:02:22","modified_gmt":"2013-08-07T10:02:22","slug":"struwwelpeter-senior-citizens-do-not-need-any-more-gadgets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/develop.citizen.co.za\/germiston-city-news\/opinion-edition\/2013\/08\/07\/struwwelpeter-senior-citizens-do-not-need-any-more-gadgets\/","title":{"rendered":"Struwwelpeter: Senior citizens do not need any more gadgets"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A small rural town in South Africa twinned with a similar town in Spain.<\/p>\n

The mayor of the SA town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered how he could afford such a house.<\/p>

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The Spaniard said: “You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, this house could be built.”<\/p>\n

The following year the Spaniard visited the SA town. He was simply amazed at the SA mayor’s house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvellous.<\/p>

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When he asked how this could be afforded, the SA mayor said: “You see that bridge over there?”<\/p>\n

The Spaniard replied: No. I don’t see any bridge.”<\/p>\n

Now why does that sound familiar?<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Some wise words:
\nI contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle (Winston Churchill)<\/p>\n

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul (George Bernard Shaw)<\/p>\n

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys (PJ O’Rourke)<\/p>\n

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! (PJ O’Rourke)<\/p>\n

The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other (Ronald Reagan)<\/p>\n

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians (Satre)<\/p>\n

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner (James Bovard Langley)<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth.<\/p>\n

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.<\/p>\n

“May I see the new baby?” I asked.<\/p>\n

“Not yet. I’ll make coffeeand<\/span> we can visit for a while first.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, “May I see the new baby now?”<\/p>\n

“No, not yet,” she said. Another few minutes elapsed.<\/p>\n

I asked again, “May I see the baby now?”<\/p>\n

”No, not yet,” replied my friend.<\/p>\n

Growing very impatient, I asked, “Well, when can I see the baby?”<\/p>\n

“When he cries!” she told me.<\/p>\n

“Why do I have to wait until he cries?”<\/p>\n

“Because I forgot where I put him, OK?”<\/p>\n

Thanks MGK<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

I bought my Blackberry, under duress from my family. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.<\/p>\n

I am not ready to live like this. I now keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.<\/p>\n

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.<\/p>\n

I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth (it’s red) phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Woollies<\/span> talking to my <\/span>wifeand<\/span> everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.<\/p>\n

The GPS looked pretty smart on my dash boardbut<\/span> the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying person. Every two minutes, she would sarcastically say, “re-calc<\/span>-u-lating<\/span>” and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Well, it was not a good relationship.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streetsand<\/span> while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.<\/span><\/p>\n

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for four yearsbut<\/span> I still haven’t figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.<\/span><\/p>\n

The world is just getting too complex for me. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered,<\/p>\n

“No, but I do fart.”<\/p>\n

We senior citizens don’t need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.<\/p>\n

(Thanks BJ)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/p>

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